I've found that most folks either really like reality shows or they pretty much hate them. And it doesn't seem to depend on intelligence or sophistication either (for example, almost all the managers here at work adore both Survivor and The Apprentice).
When the shows first started I don't think anyone believed that some of them WOULD be so cruel. But I look at it this way. These folks choose to be on the shows, for either one or both of two reasons: Money and media recognition. In doing so, I feel they are agreeing to the "game" - whatever it might be. Especially now that there have been so many twists and unexpected surprises, a person who agrees to be on a reality show should expect anything to happen and be willing to accept that it might be embarrassing or hurtful. If they still sign up, knowing this, then how can a viewer feel sorry for them?
Personally, I don't believe for a minute that real people have the kind of instant attraction for one another that you described (and that is uttered on these shows). I think these hopefuls get wrapped up in the show itself, with the excitement of being on TV and being viewed by millions of people, and they act in unnatural ways...sometimes deliberately and sometimes not.
There is NO amount of money that would tempt me to be on a reality show. But that doesn't keep me from enjoying watching others play out their lives on national TV for money and fame.
-frolix