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Be HeardDiscussion Forums    February 7, 2012

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HomeHomeGeneral Interes...General Interes...Hot Topic/Debat...Hot Topic/Debat...What would you do?What would you do?
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5/17/2004 2:19 PM
 

This is a what if situation.

Girl of 17 lives with parent 1 and step parent 1.  Parent1 and step parent have to go out of town with son for a doctors app.  Parent 1 does not have custoy of 17 year old but the child lives with parent 1.  Parent 1 doesnt trust 17 year to stay at home alone and has pissed off all of family so the girl can not stay with them  Parent 1 ask 17 year olds Boyfriend who is 19 if she can stay with him and his mother while Parent1 is out of town.  Parent 1 does not tell Parent2 (who is the coustodial parent) about this or even ask Parent 2 to keep child while Parent1 is out of town.

As Parent 2 what would you do?

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5/17/2004 3:22 PM
 

In order to answer this I think we need more information.  First, why does the girl live with her non-custodial parent?  Is it because she doesn't want to live with her custodial parent? And if that is the case, why?

a.   If it's a valid reason, then Parent 2 should accept that if s/he cannot or will not accept the parental obligation of being the custodial parent then s/he doesn't really have the right to interfere in what Parent 1 decides.

b.   It sounds like perhaps the girl WANTS to stay with her boyfriend at his house while Parent 1 is out of town and if so then that's probably why Parent 2 was never asked.  I think a 17-year-old girl staying in the same home with her 19-year-old-boyfriend is a recipe for disaster.  You know what those two are going to be doing in the dead of night. 

c.    Parent 2 should definitely have been considered as backup parent in Parent 1's absence.  Of course, that assumes that Parent 2 is not unfit in any way and that the girl and s/he get along.  If there are hard feelings between them however, it's understandable that Parent 1 would be hesitant to send the daughter over there...especially if she's pushing to stay with her boyfriend.

Bottom line, this isn't a six-year-old we're talking about but an almost-adult.  If she's untrustworthy enough that she can't be left alone at that age, then she probably doesn't need to be at her boyfriend's house either.  Unless staying with Parent 2 would be unsafe or miserable for one or both of them, I think that Parent 2 should insist (and as custodial parent, could) that their daughter stay with her/him.

-frolix

(And this is a perfect reason why pets are better than children.)

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5/17/2004 11:50 PM
 

Parent two, freaks out.

anomaly

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5/18/2004 8:26 AM
 

OH FROLIX! I LOVE LOVE LOVE THE NEW AVATAR!

 

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5/18/2004 8:47 AM
 
Parent 2 should not allow the girl to stay with parent 1 and step parent if parent 1 cannot be trusted to make better decisions than this.  But wait.  If I was the parent of the boyfriend, the girl could stay in my home temporarily without fear that anything would happen.  My son would have a pretty miserable time, however, during that stay.  The responsibility of keeping the two quiet and well-behaved would be more than I would enjoy, but the young lady would leave my home chaste, albiet pissed. lol:gun:
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