This thread got me to thinking about the last time I was forced to ride with my stepdad from Daphne to Mobile. It was one of the most frightening trips of my life.
First off he has that driving technique where he seems to think he only has two speed options: fast and slow. The whole expanse in between doesn't exist. And generally he drives really slow when traffic is heavy and really fast when it's not thereby infuriating the largest number of other drivers possible.
Another thing he does is drop from cruising speed to an almost-stop if he sees something off the road he wants to gaze at...you know, a good-looking woman, a new building, a tree, whatever. He doesn't pull OFF the road, mind you...just stops right where he happens to be.
Now, my mother - who's riding up in the danger-seat with him - will occasionally make gentle comments and suggestions to him like "Good God! Don't stop in the middle of the road, are you insane?!?!" and he'll lovingly respond to her "Shut up and let me drive! Do YOU want to get behind the wheel? DO YOU?!" and then she'll scream or something. And in the meantime people are speeding by, honking, giving us the Hawaiian peace sign and so on.
And THEN when we finally get to the restaurant he'll park in either of two ways: by taking up two entire parking spaces, or by parking in one leaving five feet on his side of the car and 4 inches on my mother's.
And don't even get me started on what happens *IN* the restaurant.
-frolix