The WaterCooler

Cool Dude

frolix — 2006-06-14T14:11:11Z

Coming in to work this morning I was beside a brother with a fine car. It was one of the older Impalas or Fords typical of the favorite choice to dress up and the owner of this vehicle had spent a ton of money making it just like he wanted. It was two-tone burnished orange with lots of sparklies in the paint, spinny-wheels and a goodly amount of gold trim - including 'Da Viper' stenciled down one side in a feminine script with the 'r' trailing off in a squiggly, snakelike way. But believe it or not, that wasn't the best part! Hanging from his rearview window was a bright orange nylon net shower puff dangling back and forth. I sh*t you not. A shower puff. He was SO fly. -frolix

Danisms, from CBS News coverage of 2004 Election

luna — 2004-11-03T21:12:44Z

'Let's hit these biscuits with a dab of gravy.' As he wraps up information so far at 7:26 'Don't taunt the alligator until you cross the creek.' On Joe Lockhart's saying the big voter turnout will help Kerry. 'Bush is sweeping through the South like a big wheel through a cotton field.' On early Bush victories projected in Southern states. 'This race is hotter than the devil's anvil.' On Kerry and Bush's electoral vote counts getting tighter around 8:00PM. 'In some ways, George Bush's lead is as thin as November ice.' On the fact it's still early and key states not counted yet. 'It don't mean a thing if they don't get those swing states.' “Bush is sweeping through the South like a big wheel through a cotton field.' On early Bush victories projected in Southern states. 'This race has been crackling like a hickory fire for the last few hours.' 'It may yet come down to Iowa and John Kerry has a lead as thin as turnip soup.' 'This situation in Ohio would give an Aspirin a headache...' 'This race is humming along like Ray Charles.' 'We had a slight hitch in our giddy up, but we corrected that.' 'If you believe that, you believe that rocks can grow.' 'What John Kerry needs is the equivalent of Tom Brady coming off the bench.' 'These electoral votes are swinging like Count Basie' 'They can play Johnny Be Good in Illinois' 'Hotter than a Times Square Rolex' 'We need Billy Crystal to Analyze This'

Contemporary Art

frolix — 2004-10-31T13:23:55Z

I would never pretend to be an expert on art. I understand and appreciate that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that. I will say that I have been exposed to art all my life, with a professional artist grandfather, mother and first husband. My daughter owns an art gallery. I can enjoy any art that speaks to me in some form or fashion, or is spectacular through intricate precision, skill, form or color. That said, I just don't get some contemporary art.

Arts Alive was Friday night, a twice-yearly street festival in downtown Mobile showcasing art in every form. The weather was beautiful, the musicians, poets, dance troupes and artists entertaining. And then we decided to check out the semi-new gallery of contemporary art - Space 301.

Now, inside was a vast array of different mediums and lots of it was great. But within the impressive were a number of displays that, I'm sorry, simply do not represent art to me. A few of my least-favorite:

An old mattress that looked like it had been dumped in an alley two years prior, lying on the floor belly-up with its springs exposed. And nestled within each spring spiral was a light bulb, each strung together with a standard brown cord, laying forlornly in the dirty mattress. They weren't even colored, artistic bulbs...they were like forty-watt G.E.'s.

Mushroom stains on rice paper. Different-sized sheets of paper, some torn, with brown goo on it that looked like vomit.

Wooden pencils and fish lying on the floor in a random pattern with broken mirrors.

And quite possibly the most disturbing: a metal coat rack with dozens of I.V. bags suspended by fishing hooks and plastic wire. Inside each I.V. bag was a yellow-colored gelatin with various found objects floating in it (a paperclip, part of a candy-wrapper...some other things that I couldn't even look at closely enough to tell what they were).

Maybe it's because I'm not from a 'big city'. Maybe it's because I haven't traveled that much to be exposed to the greater art-world. Maybe I'm too shallow to understand what the artist is attempting to convey. But all I could think when I was looking at these things was 'I'll bet the artist is pulling our leg. I'll bet there's really no rhyme or reason or thought behind any of this. It's just a joke to see how stupid we really are.'

What do y'all think?

-frolix

Saturday Night Trick-or-Treaters?

frolix — 2004-10-27T18:27:32Z

Does this only happen in the south? Changing the date of Halloween from Sunday to Saturday in some areas so the little goblin-getters won't be out on SUNDAY, Halloween being a pagan holiday and all that.

Where do people get this anyway? Even as little of history as I know, I remember learning that Halloween comes from All Hallows Eve, a Christian holiday for all the saints who had no holiday of their own. The fact that little kids like to dress up like 'witches' is what throws some people over the edge I guess.

Then there's those who say the date needs to be shifted because we wouldn't want the little trick-or-treaters to get too wild on a school night. But it's never a problem when Halloween falls on a Tuesday or Thursday so that doesn't really ring true with me.

So now I guess I have to prepare for the little beggars two nights in a row because of course some of them are going to look at Saturday as a 'bonus' day. Perhaps this makes me sound grinch-like but one night of Halloween is really all I want.

-frolix

The age-old question...

frolix — 2004-10-27T19:55:12Z

If a post is written in a empty forum and no one reads it, does it really exist? -frolix

Behind the Scenes...

luna — 2004-08-26T19:17:46Z

Ever wonder what the anchorman does during the weather report? Get a glimpse of what happens off-camera in some tv studios. 'http://www.stupidvideos.com'>http://www.stupidvideos.com In the left hand column, click on “Off Camera Anchorman”. Don't worry, you don't have to pay to see the video.

Will you burn in hell? ;)

luna — 2004-08-25T03:32:46Z

Take the hell test 'http://www.bordergatewayprotocol.net/jon/humor/web_animations/HellTest.swf' target=_blank>http://www.bordergatewayprotocol.net/jon/humor/web_animations/HellTest.swf I rated a 147/200 >:)

Don't Sing in the office

luna — 2004-08-25T03:42:01Z

or this could happen to you... 'http://www.ebaumsworld.com/girlsinging.html'>http://www.ebaumsworld.com/girlsinging.html

Well, this is odd...

frolix — 2004-08-24T14:44:35Z

According to Belief-O-Matic: 'http://www.beliefnet.com/story/76/story_7665_1.html'>http://www.beliefnet.com/story/76/story_7665_1.html ...the faith that most closely matches my beliefs is Reform Judaism - with a remarkable 100%! This is closely followed by Baha'i (which I've never even heard of) and then Liberal Quaker. Apparently I could also get in tight with Sikhists, Neo-Pagans and Jainists - none of which I know anything about. In the very middle of the belief-meter I subscribe (evidently) to Hinduism and Taoism, with my lowest ranking being Roman Catholic. Surprisingly, traditional Christianity does not even appear on my Belief-O-Matic list although I certainly consider myself a Christian. Take it, it's fun. -frolix

Anomaly!

frolix — 2004-08-03T12:09:48Z

How's the new job going? -frolix

When you quit your job...

anomaly — 2004-07-08T15:54:10Z

As some of you may or may not know- I'm quitting my fulltime job at Standard Furniture ('http://www.standard-furniture.com'>http://www.standard-furniture.com) to take a position wth Plugit ('http://www.plugit.com'>http://www.plugit.com) or ('http://www.efileshare.com'>http://www.efileshare.com). Through my quitting experience, I've developed some office-related Pet Peeves I wanted to share. First and foremost - Pettiness. The entire IT staff of Standard worked all memorial day weekend and through the holiday on a major IT project that we had all been involved with. Shortly thereafter, I took a day off to recoup from the Holiday weekend that I worked 38 hours in before Tuesday. Most companies, in situations like that - will let an employee float that Holiday to another day. I like the principle behind that - an employee is flexible with their holidays and the employer is flexible floating that holiday... When discussing the eventuality of my exit with Payroll, I'm informed that day was a vacation day and docked that from my accrued vacation time. Vacation accrual, also bugs the crap out of me. So, you are promised X number of hours of vacation a year and if you don't use it in the year, it's gone - but if you leave before December 31st, you only receive a portion of X. (Hey, at least I'm respectful enough to not disclose the number of vacation hours or salary info - I'm a good little boy, aren't I?) The exuberantly cool IT Director said he would look into that situation with payroll but I wonder how many people have left the company, been screwed on their vacation and not had the clarity of mind to realize it. Anyway..I say all this to say, all the more reason to be excited about the new position. =) Anomaly

Southwest Alabama Wildlife

luna — 2004-07-02T01:03:49Z

So last night/early this morning, my husband says he saw a strange dog-like creature in the road. At first he thought it was a cat... he got closer and then thought it was a dog... closer still... and he's not sure what it was. Anyone know what kinds of fox are in the area? What about coyote? Technically, we're considered to live in Springhill. We live off Old Shell between University and McGregor... And we've definitely got raccoons and possums in our neighborhood, but then, that's not odd. But a fox or a coyote? BTW... he saw the animal in the area of Dauphin and McGregor in Mobile... near the Country Club of Mobile.

Smart-Alecky Co-Workers

frolix — 2004-05-05T17:03:44Z

Those of you with business faxes know how that number can get on automatic dial-lists for all sorts of crap. Our main fax receives unsolicited faxes all the time for cheap cruises, tools, diet aids, etc. Nobody of course ever would order anything from a company that did business that way so usually they just go right in the trash, or sometimes it gets distributed to the most likely person who would use whatever they're hawking. I just got back from lunch and checked my mailbox to find where someone had pulled just such a fax off the main machine and not knowing what to do with it evidently just chose my name as the person most likely to want one. It was for a free 'Stud-Finder'. Do you think my co-workers are trying to say something about me? -frolix

Cry-baby Award

luna — 2004-05-05T02:11:12Z

A BASKETBALL COACH AT A NEW JERSEY MIDDLE SCHOOL IS FACING DISCIPLINARY ACTION... FOR HUMILIATING ONE OF HIS PLAYERS. THE COACH PRESENTED A 13 YEAR OLD BOY WITH A 'CRYBABY AWARD' AT A TEAM BANQUET LAST MONTH. THE TROPHY FEATURED A SILVER FIGURE OF A BABY ATOP A PEDESTAL. THE COACH TOLD THE CROWD AT THE BANQUET THAT THE BOY WAS BEING HONORED BECAUSE ``HE BEGGED TO GET IN THE GAME, AND ALL HE DID WAS WHINE.' ANGRY PARENTS CROWDED A SCHOOL BOARD MEETING TODAY... BUT BECAUSE THE ISSUE IS A PERSONNEL MATTER, IT WILL BE DEALT WITH IN A CLOSED SESSION. THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN TO THE COACH -- IS THAT HE WON'T BE ALLOWED TO COACH THERE AGAIN. You can watch WPVI's piece on the story here: 'http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/news/050404_nw_crybabyaward.html'>http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/news/050404_nw_crybabyaward.html

You know what's fun, Part Deux

frolix — 2004-04-21T17:06:43Z

At lunch today there was a lull in the conversation, which I sometimes find unacceptable, depending on my mood. So I suggested we each be an instrument and see what it sounded like. I started by clicking the salt and pepper shakers together and then somebody else started tapping on the table with their knife, and then another joined in by going “pooh-pooh-pooh-pooh” gently through their lips. In time we had rolled-up magazines drumming the table corner, ice shaken in a glass and a nice addition from someone squeeking a chair back and forth. All in all we had ten instruments, and believe it or not we made quite an intriguing cacophony of audial pleasure. That was when the boss walked in. He just stood in the doorway a minute and one by one everybody saw him standing there and stopped playing until only the lone sound of spoons clapping against each other remained. And then there was silence. And the boss said nothing, just turned around and walked away without even clapping or anything. So, how was y'all's lunch? -frolix

Office-Related Pet Peeves

frolix — 2004-01-30T19:03:53Z

I need to talk about office-related pet peeves. I have so many but I'll try to limit myself here.

Why do co-workers have to tell me detailed stories about people I don't know? Honestly, how fascinating does she think it is for me to hear about one of her church acquaintance's cousin's wife who lives out of state and just had a heart attack? But she'll give me all the details as though she's a dear friend of mine. To make it even worse, my co-worker is the sweetest person you'll ever meet so I would never even consider doing anything except listen avidly and with the utmost fake sincerity.

What is it with people who call my direct office line, I answer the phone with 'Hello, frolix' and they say 'Is this Louise?' What did I JUST SAY??!! No, this isn't Louise or anyone else...that's why I answered the phone in my private office but just to assure the person on the other end of the phone it IS my office I say 'Hello, frolix'.

This one is the worst. Someone walks into my office and says 'Did you get my e-mail?' And I say no, when did you send it to me? And they say 'Just now.' And then they leave. I'm thinking ONE of those things is redundant.

Then there's the guy who comes in to my office at least once a day, just to chat, and the whole time he's standing at my desk he's pretend-golfing. You know, standing there, talking, but holding an invisible golf club that he swings from the floor in a big arc up into the air, over and over again. It's like I want to stop talking and shout 'fore!' or shush the imaginary crowd or something.

And y'all's?

-frolix

You know what's fun?

frolix — 2004-03-09T14:09:01Z

Getting up at 5 in the morning, stumbling into the bathroom to brush my teeth, turn on the water...and find out there is none. Evidently the fine City of Daphne Water Board found it necessary for some reason to cut off the water in my area of Lake Forest at some time during the night. I ended up having to pour several bottles of water from my refrigerator into a bowl, heat it up in the microwave, and then bathe with a washcloth. I know people used to do that in the olden days, but it's really not that satisfactory as far as hygiene goes, imo. If I hadn't had bottled water, I guess I would have had to bathe with toilet water. Oopsie, that wouldn't have worked...I forgot it's full of bright blue chlorine. -frolix

Burning Question

frolix — 2004-03-02T15:23:18Z

I was thinking about this early this morning driving to work.

I've heard it said that on the internet, it's impossible to tell if you're a person or another animal species. Do you think this is true? If so, how many dogs do you think probably sign on in any particular day?

Thanks,

-frolix

Frolix, I made it....

luna — 2004-02-19T21:41:10Z

Are you thrilled? Hope to have as much fun here as I have on other forums. I miss the debate! :) Luna

Damn Yankee or Dixie Darlin'

luna — 2004-02-21T07:19:42Z

Take the quiz and find out. http://www.chuckchamblee.com/dom/fun/yankee_dixie_quiz.htm I'm 79% Dixie... how about you?

The WaterCooler

Cool Dude

Danisms, from CBS News coverage of 2004 Election

Contemporary Art

Saturday Night Trick-or-Treaters?

The age-old question...

Behind the Scenes...

Will you burn in hell? ;)

Don't Sing in the office

Well, this is odd...

Anomaly!

When you quit your job...

Southwest Alabama Wildlife

Smart-Alecky Co-Workers

Cry-baby Award

You know what's fun, Part Deux

Office-Related Pet Peeves

You know what's fun?

Burning Question

Frolix, I made it....

Damn Yankee or Dixie Darlin'

More...